FICTION, MUSINGS, NOTES, PERSONAL NOTES, POETRY

NOTES TO HER


NOTE 1

What do I reminisce about her for the few hours we are not in contact?

It’s her glowy,pretty eyes.It’s her beguiling,mellifluous voice.It’s her oodles of vivaciousness.It’s her aura of enchanting radiance.
She is a life –altering , cosmic Aphrodite.

There are two voice notes that she sent via a messenger a few days ago – it made breathing a conscious task, for a moment.There emanated a kind of fireworks that sets a beautiful grin as you listen to every cautiously woven word.I had to shuffle the message over and over.They would make for good souvenirs in the future.

She is a deep conversationist. I should emphasize she seems amazing. I am yet to meet her, but our short,fundamental interaction has been remarkable.

You can’t blame me if she files a restraining order against my chatting with her.I would purchase that freedom to interact with her over and over.

I don’t want to be out of her presence. She is great company. She is an acquaintance to cherish and overvalue.

She reminds me the enduringness of a past loss. She reminds me the synchronicity of characterization.She reminds the depths of greatness.She reminds me the efficaciousness of mental telepathists.

She is the quintessial poster child of howling Bantu magnificence.

NOTE 2

It is Lupe Fiasco and Guy Sebastain in their melodious rap track – BATTLE SCARS that who remind us the power of remaining hopeful amidst of rigorousness.One person this week comes to mind when I hum to these lyrics – this new lady friend.
She emerged from the ashes of indecision and despondency with flashy,chubby,baby-like cheeks and a bleeding pen.She has documented her brilliant thoughts in amazing pieces she keeps stashed away.

I bequeath her the laurel of splendor.If there are people i should believe in,she tops the list.Haunted by a career quandary,she made a tough decision to go after her heart – to crawl to the apex of the design industry.She will triumph.She will awe the world.

NOTE 3

A toast to this new concupiscent friendship that will endure booby traps and to brooking with each other’s idiosyncrasies.

I keep myself grounded even when I could effortlessly fly off the handle when you doze off. Those are the seeds of loyalty and tolerance being sowed and reaped. If we live a thousand lives, I will always pick you to sit on that seat I reserve for truehearted allies.

A few days ago, we were introduced to each other, I realized we have many similar tastes – especially a shared thalassophobia, aquaphobia and hydrophobia (a persistent fear of large waters).That shared perpetual anxiety can be conquered. That adrenaline rush that courses through the body that one confuses with a sense of losing control or the fear of the unknown can be extrapolated to real life.

As a human, I first shrieked at the thought of engaging you as a stranger beyond the confines of a SOCIAL group. That was suspense building in.That was my water phobia. I eased my fear of the water and without a swimming coach, I swam right across to your space. I ascertained I didn’t actually require swimming classes to ascertain my level of confidence.

It was me standing on the deep end of baby pool, gathering myself together and taking a deep breath. It was me quieting my fears. It was me slowing my heart rate. It was me adjusting my focus from my fear to my imaginary confidence. It was me congratulating myself for getting rid of that anxiety.

That’s how one embellishes any new association. You plough through the soils of that friendship in readiness for cultivation, planting, tilling and eventually reaping a bountiful harvest.

I will echo what Anne – Marie, Sean Paul and Clean Bandit sing in their tantalizing jam – ROCKABYE: “some body’s got you “.

Note 4

Today is my first day of the rest of our days together! Yippe! It has been one amazing weekend. I cannot believe it ended so soon. It feels like someone changed my life settings from Novice Mode to Advanced Expert Mode. But made it through with a few scratches, half a life and a new high score. So I guess it is on to the next level.

Looking at it in retrospect, I feel like maybe we have underestimated ourselves a little too much. For a moment, doubt took over. That is the thing with life. We never know what we can withstand until we have been through it all. It was a potential storm that was brewing in a tea cup before we quelled it.When it rains, it pours – when trouble comes, it always brings a family.

That got to me to reflect. That it is never going to be a walk in the park, it will be blood and sweat as we yearn for the ultimate prize – a working union.

It started with a mundane declaration that almost factory reset the little gains we had made in the past few weeks. In between everything, I like to throw a few meaningful things. By meaningful things, I am referring to things that take us closer to our dreams or build our capacity to achieve them. One of those things for me is writing, both prose and poetry. I do not know how, but one day, I feel that words will be at the core of my better achievements.

Before I could decide on a way to quell the looming crisis, something so intriguing happened and jolted me back to the moment. When I say moment, I mean this second that we are breathing now, and these circumstances that are surrounding us. It made me realize that I couldn’t contend not having that beautiful smile around emit made me realize how deeply glued to you I had become. It is one of those things I can’t explain. They happened in such a short time, that they almost cost me you.

I am not fixated on this outcome but on our journey. There has never been a day one wakes up being certain of anything that will happen in their lives. I didn’t think a month ago, I would wake up on a Sunday morning in the first weekend of September talking to a gorgeous lady with a skillful heart. That’s the miracle of happenstances.

At my age, I have grown in the principle of faith. I am one of those people with extraordinary fidelity to my convictions. I know every wonderful thing can be nurtured in the midst of all obstructions. It is my faith and courage that directed me to your personal space in that messenger. It is my faith and courage that made me develop passionate emotions for you. It is my faith and courage that made me see a confidante, a personal friend and a great ally in this journey.

The good thing about remembering the brevity of life is that you learn to keep important things in focus. That is what grief has taught me.Based on my belief system and moral values, I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I have not betrayed my convictions and my dreams. I have not failed in my commitment to you. I will keep doing so with immense energy and dedication.

It is through this, that I can make a sincere promise that I won’t quit on you. That I will always keep trying to be the person you want and need. I will keep being true to you because the map to everywhere we want and need to go is written in our hearts.

NOTE 5

Her jaw dropped at the mention of my romantic fantasy- a kiss .But it’s not an illicit fantasy.It’s a normal fantasy.

It wasn’t a deep sexual/erotic thought – unlike the ones that would be considered weird ,perverse or just plain wrong to be shared amongst polite company. This makes it absolutely normal.Not having it would be abberant.

I would have felt embarrassed admitting to it or reluctant to discuss it albeit in little detail,but leaving it undisclosed only prolongs the inevitable – someone at some point would have to bring it up, conventionally or unconventionally.
It’s a typical but varied fantasy.It’s a positive spin to a coping mechanism.It’s a premonition to creating a memory.

Safety is the concept that functions to unlock the fragile walls that protects such an unmild,subconscious fantasy.Our minds are not safe places to store away any of such thoughts.They always find their way out anyway.It would be reassuring.No one commits a transgression by having such a romantically inclined thought in their mind.It spices up interaction.

NOTE 6

You are the newest precious blessing I am receiving. Your presence is bringing me happiness and joy. I am already getting lost in your world even hours before we meet. I am looking forward to many things. Your presence is adding value to my existence.

I have a million things running in my mind. It’s hard to describe many of these things. You are offering new opportunity. A new zest of life.
There is beauty surrounding me.It is harnessed from you. I have an appointment in the mid-morning. But it won’t stop me from writing this to you.

I can’t call it immature love or an infatuation or a crush or a longing. It has no name. But it is something amazing. I am immured to the innermost passion in your eyes. To the resplendence of your flashy, cherubic cheeks. I am stuck at the fantastic idea of getting along with you.

You bring some comfort with your demeanor. I am lucky to have been acquainted with you in a short time and let you hold my existence captive.

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