Why phone numbers exchanged don’t necessarily amount to networks built


By Samuel Kilonzo

As a curious student of life I am always reflecting on what works and what doesn’t. What can be changed and to what degree that change should be effected, is it incrementally or revolutionary change! Something has always bothered me though, why does it seem like some people get some things easily while others struggle for those same things? Why do some people (and In this case I mean age mates & peers) seem to progress faster than others? Are some people luckier than others? (maybe or maybe not). But then I have found out something astonishingly striking about the hotshots’ – the networks they build.

Having someone’s phone number doesn’t necessarily make them your network I have come to conclude. Most phone numbers never amount to opportunities’ or being pointed to the direction of them in a future date. As much as these “networks” are to be blamed, millennials are to take the biggest stick and here is why!

Most of us don’t understand the language of opportunity because we have either suffered too much to smell one when it crosses our paths or we are just ignorant of how things work at a particular level. Its easier for a millennial to ask a person of means for lunch than see how they could help them run their business better or get career insights’! We are too much engraved in the me syndrome that we don’t position ourselves for opportunities’. People naturally repel problems and invite solutions so the next time you running through your contact list and you see that manager you know and you tempted to DM them with a hae or hey message , you better think through if that network is ever to help! Great people rarely give money unless its capital for a business idea you pitched, so here is what I have seen from the people who quickly get stuck; they always ask for money & food!

This is all you ever get! So what should we do to get ourselves out of our ruts:
1. Find a way to to help other people than try to get things from them
2. Stay curious and hungry to know what works & what doesn’t
3. Ask for insight & not money
4. Make them know they can rely on you
5. Ask anything (FORM) :
People care for these things and they want people who care for them too.
6. Be very clear to make sure you pass the subtle message that you are open for opportunities not to be spoon fed – You project confidence, competence & Competitiveness’!

Finally , note that what you want is a relationship away, build some not just phone numbers and name dropping or you will be stuck in your hubris and you will say what underachievers always say they are being proud!

PS: Building relationships doesn’t amount to putting your *trust* in men for we should solely depend on GOD! But you have to know that he Uses people and when you mishandle them, you only have yourself to blame!


Samuel Kilonzo is a supply chain analyst based in Nairobi County.


1 thought on “Why phone numbers exchanged don’t necessarily amount to networks built”

  1. Very true millenials have not mastered the art of networking which is a key tool in our error and money solves nothing it is a short term solution to a long term problem of building networks within your circle!Amazing article Martin

    Liked by 1 person

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